Grief and Happiness
Sooo ….you might have noticed I stopped writing for the last one hundred and eighteen days. I just couldn’t physically write a word, and it’s as if I unconsciously put a cork in my brain to stop the flow of nonstop shit that relentlessly flowed from my memory banks. I guess it was natures way of letting me take a break and heal. I have been working on my second book, which is not about grief by the way, but filled with older, past memories that kept the grieving wound open and festering. I t was nice for a while, to not dissect every well-meaning thought to be written down, but the urge to say what I needed to say, silently prompted me to start writing and sharing once again. Naturally, my thoughts touched on why I felt the need to stop the chatter and I realized I was ashamed of my grief. I was…am… embarrassed of my sadness…and more recently…my happiness …the fact that life continued to move forward without my husband, father and daughter just felt wrong.