Medium


Every once in awhile, I start to feel suffocated with life.  The overwhelming sadness from Dean's passing, to my dad's death, my daughters illness and my mothers diagnosis weighs on my mind in layers.  The depth of this thickness drags my joy down and I lose my focus on what my purpose is all about.  When that happens, I make an appointment with my intuitive personal adviser, En-May.  I call her my medium.  She helps me get perspective on life in ways a licensed therapist cannot.  Maybe because she can see beyond the physical and hello...bonus....I get to talk to Dean.

Anyway, I went to see her about a week ago feeling frustrated and lost after suffering some emotional setbacks.  Just as we started our session she told me,

"I meditated on you this morning and I felt that you had lost your joy."

I was astounded, because that is exactly why I had come to see her.

She continued "I focused my positive, happy energy into a ball and sent it to you."

I explained to her that just that morning, I awoke from a dream right after I had experienced something that I could not see, enter my body.  I immediately thought "What the fuck was that?"
At the time, I thought it might be a spirit or something.  But like any weird dream, I let it go as I fully woke up.  She threw her energy ball my way at the same time I had my dream.  It was definitely an astounding concept to wrap my head around.

I don't know that I am more joyous at this moment because of it, but I did receive her gift.  I continue to be amazed at the visions she has and how she can connect me to Dean.  She is not like the TV shows.  She does not say things like "I'm getting a J...does anyone know someone who's name starts with a J?"

She tells me without censor, without guessing and without hesitation, things that only Dean and I know.  With her ability to communicate with his spirit and translate his messages, I have found the strength to continue my life without him.  Through her, he gives me the resilience to handle the new challenges that God has predestined for me.  Even in the afterlife, his love wraps around me like a warm and comfy blanket and lifts my soul a little higher.

But Ohhh...it makes me miss him so much.  To know that he is with me, but that I can't see, hear or touch him is so frustrating.  It reminds me that he is, and will be until I die, forever out of my reach. That knowledge in itself, pushes me forward to continue his legacy and experience my life to the fullest because I know that he is watching and doesn't want me to waste what he no longer has.




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